


The Hawkins Post But Without Sexist Men And Full Of Gay Teenagers

by Violent_Bulldog (orphan_account)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awesome Erica Sinclair, Awesome Robin Buckley, Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield Have a Good Relationship, Billy Hargrove Lives, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Billy got like super injured tho, Everything in season 3 happened, F/F, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, Good Friend Lucas Sinclair, Good Friend Robin Buckley, Good Sibling Jonathan Byers, Good Sibling Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Good Sibling Nancy Wheeler, Heather Holloway lives too, Hopper didn't die and Billy didn't die, Jim "Chief" Hopper Lives, M/M, Maxine "Max" Mayfield Needs a Hug, Post-Season/Series 03, Post-Stranger Things 3, Protective Dustin Henderson, Protective Jonathan Byers, Protective Mike Wheeler, Robin Buckley & Maxine "Max" Mayfield Friendship, Robin Buckley Needs a Hug, Step-Siblings Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, The party are all 15, Will Byers Gets a Break, but he's alright now, chat fic, jonathan nancy robin and heather are all seniors, physically at least, that's all i write anymore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26587267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Violent_Bulldog
Summary: The second Stranger Things chat fic that nobody asked me forHopefully, this one won't get abandoned...
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Dustin Henderson/Lucas Sinclair, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper, Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 5
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**_W. Byers added M. Wheeler, J. Hopper, M. Mayfield, L. Sinclair and H. Henderson to a group chat_ **

**_W. Byers has named the group chat "The Party"_ **

**_W. Byers has changed their name to "tiny gay"_ **

_tiny gay:_ :)

_M. Wheeler:_ im confused but also happy that this exists

_M. Wheeler:_ wait max is here i take it back

_M. Mayfield:_ fuck you too then wheeler

_H. Henderson:_ can i make one adjustment rn??

_tiny gay:_ sure

**_H. Henderson added S. Harrington to "The Party"_ **

**_H. Henderson has changed S. Harrington's name to "mom"_ **

_mom:_ huh

_J. Hopper:_ hi welcome to chilis 

_tiny gay:_ mike dropped his phone and just sighed deeply

_L. Sinclair:_ dustin is laughing so hard i think he might burst a lung

_mom:_ i wouldnt be surprised

_L. Sinclair:_ arent you meant to be working??

_M. Wheeler:_ yeah with robinnn

_mom:_ do we need to go over this again

**_mom added R. Buckley to "The Party"_ **

_R. Buckley:_ ??

_mom:_ plz explain

_R. Buckley:_ im gay and im fucking your sister

_mom:_ nOT LIKE THAT

_M. Wheeler:_ WHAT

**_M. Wheeler added N. Wheeler to "The Party"_ **

_M. Wheeler:_ EXPLAIN

_N. Wheeler:_ i think robin covered it

_R. Buckley:_ :)

_M. Wheeler:_ im gonna have an aneurysm

_J. Hopper:_ mike and nancys names are too similar now

**_tiny gay has changed M. Wheeler's name to "taller gay"_ **

**_tiny gay has changed N. Wheeler's name to "nancy drew"_ **

_nancy drew:_ i respect it

_taller gay:_ mhh

_mom:_ wait

**_mom has changed H. Henderson's name to "strange little child friend"_ **

**_mom has changed R. Buckley's name to "dad"_ **

_dad:_ i feel attacked

_mom:_ you help manage the children therefore are their dad

_dad:_ im the youngest older one here

_mom:_ idc bitch

**_dad added B. Hargrove to "The Party"_ **

_dad:_ your man is disrespecting a woman

_mom:_ yo wtf

_B. Hargrove:_ bold of you to assume he listens to me

_dad:_ i could make many comments

_dad:_ but from the kindness in my heart i wont

_mom:_ kindness?? 

_dad:_ i will kick you down the fucking stairs

_mom:_ understandable have a nice day

_M. Mayfield:_ is this the bat-man and robin usual?

_dad:_ tiny child thats the best thing ive heard in weeks

_M. Mayfield:_ i have a name

_dad:_ i know its tiny child

**_dad has changed M. Mayfield's name to "tiny child"_ **

_tiny child:_ i can and will smack you with my skateboard

_dad:_ i can and will ban you from scoops ahoy

tiny child: you wouldnt dare

_dad:_ try me

_nancy drew:_ rob stop threatening the children

_dad:_ but

_nancy drew:_ rob

_dad:_ yes maam

_nancy drew:_ max stop threatening robin

_tiny child:_ she started it

_nancy drew:_ and im ending it

_tiny child:_ fine

_nancy drew:_ good :)

_B. Hargrove:_ that was kinda hot

_dad:_ i will hang you buy your own intestines hargrove

_B. Hargrove:_ ...understood

**_dad has changed B. Hargrove's name to "bottom energy"_ **

_bottom energy:_ im gonna knock you off your fucking bike 

_dad:_ bold of you to assume you can hurt me more than the russians did

_bottom energy:_ ...are you ok?

_dad:_ is that a genuine question?

_tiny gay:_ this got very sad very quickly

_dad:_ sorry smallest gay

_tiny gay:_ did steve vanish?

_mom:_ driving

_tiny gay:_ ...where?

_mom:_ robins apartment

_mom:_ i have happy things that make us forget about russians

_dad:_ please stop typing while driving for the love of god

_dad:_ also hes not talking about alcohol before SOMEONE starts yelling at us

_strange little child friend:_ this is why youre the dad!!

_tiny child:_ uh oh

_dad:_ uh oh?

_tiny child:_ neil is looking for us billy...

_bottom energy:_ he can choke on his toxic masculinity 

_tiny child:_ tempting to text him that...

_tiny gay:_ do it

_tiny child:_ did it

_tiny child:_ ...can i stay at someone elses place now?

_dad:_ STEVE MAKE A DETOUR AND PICK UP THE TINY CHILD

_mom:_ FINEEEEE

_dad:_ yes problem solved

_tiny child:_ ...why was that impressive

_dad:_ cause im impressive

_tiny child:_ true true

_dad:_ !!??

_strange little child friend:_ i mean you did crack the russian code in less than a day

_tiny child:_ you also speak four languages fucking fluently

_tiny gay:_ you helped kill the mind flayer without knowing what the hell was happening

_taller gay:_ you made sure that the russians didnt kill steve

_nancy drew:_ you protected dustin and erica and put your life on the line

_L. Sinclair:_ which im increadably grateful for on both parts

_bottom energy:_ you helped ram a car into mine to make sure that i didnt kill the others

_tiny child:_ not you. the mind flayer

_J. Hopper:_ so yeah you are pretty damn impressive 

_dad:_ im very much crying

_dad:_ i love all of you

_mom:_ we love you too rob

_mom:_ now open your door so max and i can hug you to death

_dad:_ yes sir

_taller gay:_ why do you refer to everyone as sir and maam...

_dad:_ trauma <3

_tiny gay:_ oh mood

**_tiny gay added J. Byers and E. Sinclair to "The Party"_ **

**_tiny gay has changed J. Byers name to "flash"_ **

**_tiny gay has changed E. Sinclair's name to "actual child"_ **

**_tiny gay has changed L. Sinclair's name to "stalker"_ **

**_tiny gay has changed J. Hopper's name to "wonder woman"_ **

_actual child:_ why am i in the nerds chat?

_strange little child friend:_ cause you are a nerd

_actual child:_ not this again

_strange little child friend:_ accept your FATE

_actual child:_ i wish i kept some of that green liquid to throw at you

_strange little child friend:_ im glad you didnt 

_flash:_ wait why is this my name

_tiny gay:_ camera go flash

_flash:_ understandable

_stalker:_ not this again

_tiny gay:_ well its true

_stalker:_ i hate it here


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will - tiny gay  
> Steve - mom  
> Mike - taller gay  
> Nancy - nancy drew  
> Dustin - strange little child friend  
> Robin - dad  
> Max - tiny child  
> Billy - bottom energy  
> Jonathan - flash  
> Erica - actual child  
> Lucas - stalker  
> Jane - wonder woman

**_The Party_ **

_dad:_ ***photo attached***

_dad:_ plz i cant breathe

_dad:_ theyre crushing me

_taller gay:_ are they asleep

_dad:_ YES

_taller gay:_ lol

_dad:_ son of a bitch youre really no help at all wheeler

_taller gay:_ good

_dad:_ im banning you from driving services for a week

_taller gay:_ wait wait WAIT

_dad:_ too late law has been placed

_taller gay:_ this is homophobic

_dad:_ shut up or ill make the ban longer

_taller gay:_ HOMOPHOBIC

_taller gay:_ i hope max and steve smother you to death

_dad:_ rude

_tiny gay:_ mike stop being mean to dad

_dad:_ yeahhhh mikeeee

_tiny gay:_ ...

_dad:_ dont let him continue plz

_tiny gay:_ okay

_dad:_ tiny gay son is best son

_strange little child friend:_ :(

_strange little child friend:_ i literally saved your life

_dad:_ okay thats true

_actual child:_ um so did i

_dad:_ youre not my son tho

_actual child:_ why are any of them your sons??

_actual child:_ arent you only two years older than them?

_dad:_ ...

_actual child:_ exactly

_dad:_ respect your elders

_actual child:_ no

_dad:_ i was not built with the ability to deal with a sassy child

_dad:_ plz help

_mom:_ hiokjUEGJEIJOG

_mom:_ erica leave robin alone

_actual child:_ no

_mom:_ no ice cream

_actual child:_ i take it back

_mom:_ good

_mom:_ now sleep

_dad:_ he woke up cause his phone buzzed and then threw it across the room and fell back asleep

_dad:_ oW OKAY 

_tiny gay:_ ??

_dad:_ HE DUG HIS ELBOW INTO MY FUCKING RIBS 

_taller gay:_ lol

_dad:_ ill take your phone and throw it into a fucking ocean

_taller gay:_ this is a landlocked state

_dad:_ i will DRIVE TO THE OCEAN

_taller gay:_ you cant drive

_dad:_ ...

_dad:_ i will get steve to drive me

_taller gay:_ sure sure

_tiny gay:_ dustin what did you get for the math homework

_strange little child friend:_ 32-4=28 28x42=1176 1176-6=1170 1170 divided by 65=18

_tiny gay:_ thank you!!

_nancy drew:_ thats the weirdest math question i think ive ever seen

_nancy drew:_ what was the point of it..

_tiny gay:_ i say that about math a lot in general

_dad:_ i say that about life a lot in general

_nancy drew:_ we talked about this

_dad:_ i have a comfort blanket of two people im okay

_dad:_ aside from the inability to breathe and the bruised ribs thanks to harrington

_bottom energy:_ he moves a lot in his sleep

_dad:_ yeah i fucking gathered

_dad:_ steve is a worm and max may be dead

_bottom energy:_ excuse me??

_dad:_ shes not ACTUALLY dead

_dad:_ shes just not moving in the slightest apart from breathing

_dad:_ i promise i didnt murder your sister

_taller gay:_ who would win in a fight robin or max

_strange little child friend:_ robin

_actual child:_ robin

_nancy drew:_ robin

_tiny gay:_ robin

_stalker:_ i feel like i legally have to say max

_wonder woman:_ max 

_bottom energy:_ max...

_flash:_ for legal reasons can i say theyd tie?

_taller gay:_ max threatened billy with steves nail bat and helped kill the demodogs and mindflayer

_taller gay:_ robin helped killed the mindflayer while still drugged up and also attacked the russians

_taller gay:_ theyd probably knock each other out

_dad:_ in conclusion im not gonna fight max because shes my favorite child

_strange little child friend:_ :(

_dad:_ youre second

_strange little child friend:_ :/

_dad:_ do you wanna move up in the list?

_strange little child friend:_ nope im good thanks dad 


End file.
